It’s easy to feel surrounded.
Messages, notifications, lunch invites — the buzz of company. But don’t mistake noise for nourishment.
Company fills the room with chatter. Support fills your spirit with courage.
Company claps when you perform. Support covers you when you fall.
The truth is, being around people doesn’t always mean you’re being lifted.
Pause and ask yourself:
Am I feeling full because I’m seen?
Or because I’m supported?
Reflect on your circle
Not everyone who smiles at you is invested in you. Not everyone who shows up is showing up for you.
Some people are sent for comfort.
They help you catch your breath, rest your heart, and soothe your wounds. And that’s beautiful. Comfort has its sacred place.
But some are sent for construction.
They challenge you to grow stronger, think deeper, and stretch wider. They hold a mirror up when you’d rather look away. They help you build the life you dream of — even when it’s messy.
Both are gifts. But only one can walk the whole journey with you.
How To Assess Your Circle
If you’re serious about growth, you must be intentional about your connections.
Here are a few ways to start:
1. Feel the energy
Energy is everything. After spending time together, do you feel uplifted, inspired, and more yourself? Or drained, second-guessing, smaller?
Good company feels light. True support feels powerful.
Ask yourself: Are they supporting the best version of me today?
2. Notice who initiates
Time is precious. Who makes the effort to reach out, to create space, to connect? You won’t always meet everyone you care about, but mutual effort matters.
When someone makes time for you, notice it.
When you’re always the one reaching out, notice that, too.
3. Watch how they respond to your wins and losses
When you rise, do they celebrate without comparison? When you fall, do they stay without judgment?
Real support feels unconditional — not seasonal.
4. Pay attention to growth
Look at the conversations you have. Are you just replaying gossip and complaints? Or are you talking about dreams, ideas, healing, and change?
If your friendships mirror your old self more than your future self, it’s time to recalibrate.
5. Trust your inner knowing
Sometimes, the mind second-guesses.The heart rarely does. If you find yourself repeatedly doubting someone’s place in your life, trust that feeling.
Your intuition is not being dramatic. It’s being protective.
Choose builders over bystanders
For the long haul, you need more than applause.
You need accountability, honesty, vision, and fierce love.
Builders won’t just exist in your life. They will help you expand it.
Choose wisely. Choose bravely.
Take a moment of reflection
Take five minutes today.
Write down the five people you spend the most time with.
Next to each name, ask yourself: Comfort? Construction? Both?
Neither answer is wrong.
But knowing the difference will change your path. You are not just building a life. You are building a home inside yourself. Make sure the people you let in are helping you lay a strong foundation.
Ask yourself, what does your future self need more of today?
This article was written by Brendan Seah and originally posted on LinkedIn on April 28 , 2025.
